God Was There

I can't even fathom the tragedy that happen Friday December 14,2012. My mind cannot comprehend what the families, children and staff must be going through. What the workers who have to clean up are dealing with. What the administration is facing on how to go back to a building where such violence occurred. But what I also can't understand is the people who really believe God was not there. Are you kidding me? God never left. He never will.
In all of history there has been tragedy. More than we can even think about. Tragedy is a continually circumstance. That does not mean that God is not here. He has a plan. Though we cannot see the end, He can.
I have seen many comments about how guns should be banned. They say we need more gun control. Or, children should not be sent to public school. The should be homeschooled and protected from evil. I say we should seek God!! We should draw so close to Him that we feel His presence at all times. Hiding our children at home will not stop evil. Banning guns will not stop evil. We need the protection and covering of an All Mighty Savior who has never left us. We left Him.
I don't know His plan. I don't know why this had to happen. I do know that not only was He there, His heart was breaking. Just as He watched the world despise His only Son. He has not left us. We left. We need to run to Him. We need to trust Him. We need to believe that He will use this tragedy for good, for His will.

God-fidence

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. ~ Hebrews 11:1 NLT

Faith, why is it so hard yet so easy. To believe that what I hope for will actually happen, without seeing how! For me that is not an easy feat. I like to be in control. I want to see the future. I HATE to wait (yes, I said the "H" word). To hope that my provision will come when I may not have been the best steward with what I was already given. To hope that my children will be save when I can't be with them. To hope that God really does have a "Greater" plan for me when I can't see how or even why He would use me. Those things that I can't see drive me crazy. Yet, they also drive me closer to God. I have come to realize (though I don't always act like it) that the closer I get to God, the easier the faith comes. The more I learn about Him, the more I realize I can have faith. The more I talk to Him, the more I learn who He thinks, no wait, He KNOWS who I am. The more I am in His presence, the easier it is to have the assurance about things I cannot see. In fact, the more I am in His presence, the more I DO see.
Confidence has never come easy for me. In the fact the more confident I would become, the more arrogant I felt. You know, that little voice that tells you how high and mighty you think you are. Then I would not just humble myself, I would beat myself up. But with faith I am given a confidence. A confidence that I can know who I am and Who I serve. That I am provided for. That I am loved. That I am forgiven! Even if I cannot see it!

Where Have I Been?

Have you ever been so excited to start something only to feel your not good enough to complete it? Like your not the one who should be doing this? Someone else has a better message. Well, that's what happened to me. I was so excited to start a blog. Like, I had a message for the world (or maybe a few people). Then I start hearing that voice. You know, the one that says "nobody  wants to hear what you have to say" "you can't help anyone" " God speaks to others so much better than He speaks to you, He doesn't want to use you because your not good enough". So what did I do? Cave in and dropped the blog. How wrong I was. God wants to use me as much as He wants to use you, or Beth Moore, or Joyce Meyer, or the woman who works at Wal-Mart. He speaks to me. Sometimes just for me, sometimes for others. If we realized how many people can relate to how we feel, how much easier would it be? I am not the only failure that God can and will use! So, it's time to get focused and move forward. I know where I'm at, in position to be used by God!

Whose Side Are You On?

I am an emotional roller coaster! One day, not wait, one minute I can be laughing and happy and the next I can eat someone's head. What is wrong with me? Why do I react the way I do? Whose side am I on?
If I am on God's side then my emotions do not control me. I am lead by the Holy Spirit who gives me wisdom and guidance to handle every situation. God also provides a new perspective to different situations. Instead of focusing on the bad, or the problem, God will show me the good. That makes difficult situations easier to handle. If I truly believe that He works all things for good then I can handle the situation with a better perspective.
So whose side am I on? The One who will lead me off my roller coaster and carry me through life!

Where do I go from here?

There is a song out, I believe from 10th Avenue North, that asks "where do I go from here?" There's a raging sea, right in front of me, tries to pull me in, bring me to my knees. I can relate. Sometimes I wonder, "what now?" Where do I go from here? What am I doing? (I ask that one a lot!!)
Sometimes I feel like I am just wandering. I look at everyone else's purpose in life (christian women leaders) and wonder what is mine? I try to take on their purpose, I want to have a blog that reaches millions, I want to inspire women all over the world, I want to lead others in learning the bible.
That's where I am at now. The raging sea in front of me is all the stuff I see and wonder what should I be doing. Then I want to just quit. But wait, isn't that exactly what Satan wants me to do? Quit. He wants me to see every one's successes and my failures. He wants me to see how great other teachers are and how bad I am. He wants me to see everyone else's "perfect" life and my sin and failure. But God wants me to see my success. He wants me to see that He loves me right where I am, in front of the raging sea. He wants me to ask "where do I go from here" because He has the answer. I just have to ask HIM not my flesh.
I may not reach every student in my classroom, I may not lead thousands of women in a bible study, I may not write a book that inspires women everywhere, but God will lead me where I need to go!

The Thief

Habakkuk 2:1 I will stand at my watch post; I will remain stationed on the city wall. I will keep watching, so I can see what He says to me and know how I should answer when he counters my argument.

I will stand my watch post! This verse was preached this last Sunday at church. I have really thought about the verse. This is my job. To stand my watch post. To not fall asleep. To remain active and alert so as the thief cannot come in and overtake my territory.
When we become inactive, or asleep, things start to creep into our lives. We do not notice the little "oks". It's ok to watch this tv show. It's ok to watch this movie. The lyrics to this song are ok. It's ok just this once. When we stop our watch and become inactive we allow the thief a chance to break in. Cracks start to form in our wall. As a crack starts, if it is not taken care of, it will get larger. Sardis had cracks in their wall that remained un-taken care of and became so large a man could fit through. The city was overtaken not just once but twice in the night because of being "asleep".
I will stand my watch post! Over my life, my house, my job, everything. In order to not fall asleep I have to remain active. I have to stay in the word. I have to stay in prayer, "I will keep watching, so I can see what He says to me". I have to be alert. The thief is waiting for me to fall asleep. He is waiting for me to leave my cracks unattended.
I will stand my watch post!

Clothed with Strength

Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. Proverbs 31:25

In my quest to be more like the proverbs 31 woman, I see that she is clothed in strength. If there is one thing, as a woman, I can relate to her with it is clothing. I love clothes. I like to look nice in my clothing. I like to shop for clothes. I take great thought in what I wear, most of the time. Just like her, I can CHOOSE to put on strength and honor. It is my choice. When I look in the closet and decide what to wear, my first choice should be strength.
God has provided me with all the strength I could possibly need. I don't even have to pick pieces that match! I just have to choose to access and put on the strength that He has already provided for me. And it always fits!! It always flatters me!! I can walk confidently knowing that He has clothed me to make me look my best.
Today, I choose the strength and honor outfit! By the way, did I mention that I did not even have to wait for a sale to get it! It was given to me as a wonderful gift!!

Review Goals for June and add Goals for July

Goals for June:

Household:

• Begin to paint the kitchen
• Start meal planning system from Sparkpeople

Spiritual:

• Continue Proverbs 31 Bible study
• Continue Read the Bible in 90 day challenge: this month I will read Exodus-Ezra

Personal:

• Continue Couch to 5k program
• Continue Sparkpeople tracking system (Love it!!)
• Lose 5 pounds
• Blog three times a week
• Read one educational article a week (I'm a teacher)

So, I was able to get a lot acomplished in June, but not all that I had planned. Some financial situations prevented some of them, and lack of motivation. I did lose 3 pounds this month and I am happy with that. I am going to change my routine this month and see if I can hit the 5lbs in a month goal.

So here are the goals for July

Household:

• Continue the www.home-storage-solutions-101.com decluttering program.
• Continue meal planning with more emphasis on saving money when I grocery shop
• Cook one Sparkpeople recipe a week. www.sparkpeople.com

Spiritual:

• Continue Proverbs 31 Bible Study
• Continue Read the Bible in 90 day challenge: this month Nehemiah-Amos
• Start Beth Moore ladies study at church

Personal:

• Continue Couch to 5k program
• Run a virtual 5k
• Lose 5 pounds
• Blog twice a week
• Continue Sparkpeople.com tracking program
• Read on educational article a week

Alright, I can do this!!!

Cruise Control

We were going to Little Rock today to get our son football cleats for this coming season. While I was driving my leg started to get uncomfortable while pressing on the gas and I realized that I could set the cruise control and rest my leg. I started thinking about our lives and how God has given us a cruise control if we choose to use it. It is a choice that we make, just like I had to choose to set the cruise control. God allows us to choose to let Him control our speed, we just have to remain alert and watch for hazards. Sometimes we have to press on the brake and slow down, but we can set the cruise again and let God handle the speed.
I love that my life is equiped with cruise control. I wish I did not wait for life to get uncomfortable to set the cruise. It is a feature in my car that is available to me anytime I want, just like in my life. I just have to give up the control and let God take over.

Clouds

Today while I was sitting outside, I noticed the clouds. It reminded me of life. There was a large cloud right above me. I saw in the clouds many layers. The darkest, lowest layer, was moving quicker than the upper layers. Every once in a while the sun would show through.
Like in life, our problems can seem overwhelming. Sometimes they are so many layers that we cannot see the sun. The darkest layer will move, but there will still be other layers. Those layers may not be so bad, but they can still block the sun. But after a little while, the sun shows through, reminding you that there is an end, a hope, coming.
Sometimes my layers are many. Sometimes they are few. Whether I can see the sun or not, I know there is hope. I just have to wait for the clouds to move.

Get To Work

In my continuing study of the proverbs 31 woman, today I am looking at her "vigorous" work. I am reflecting on my own work. I've noticed that I am great at making a plan but not following through. I do the easy part but not the vigorous work. That's got to stop! So I don't have the money for paint for my kitchen. I will scrub it and make it look like its been painted. I will got through my plans that I have made and DO them, not just look at them. It's time to stop "talking the talk and walk the walk". God did not choose the easy way out for me, why do I think it's ok for me to do that. "Whatever you find to do with your hands, do with all your might" Ecclesiastes 9:10. "In all hard work there is profit, but merely talking about it only brings poverty" Proverbs 14:23. I am not going to live in poverty! I am not going to just talk about it anymore. It's time to get to work!

Sometimes It Takes 40 Years

I am working on the challenge to read the Bible in 90 days. I have been reading Leviticus and Numbers. We wonder why it took the children of Israel 40 years to get to the promised land when they could have gotten there in 11 days. Have you looked at all the requirements that they had to fulfill? I can barely read them in 11 days, they had to act on them. It took them 40 years to PREPARE to enter the promised land. They had to learn God's way and not the world's way. The sad thing is, all but two could not do it. They could not leave the world's way behind and just follow God.
I am so glad that I live in a time that does not have to follow so many laws of God. I do not have to offer a special sacrifice for the different sins that I commit. I just have to accept Jesus and His forgiveness.
In a way, I am like the children of Israel. Sometimes it takes me "40 years" to get that I am forgiven and my sins are forgotten. Sometimes it take me "40 years" to get prepared for what God has for me. Just as the children of Israel, God is going to bless me in "His time" not mine. He is preparing me. I can choose to let Him and not take as long, or I can choose to "wander in the wilderness" and take longer than need be.
I need to allow Him to prepare me. No matter how long it takes! If it takes 40 years, then so be it. God knows best! I just have to allow Him to work and learn from Him. Do it His way.

Change

Change; it's a part of life right? So why are we so afraid of it? Why does it cause so much conflict? I know the standard reasons; we are afraid, we just don't want to change, we are comfortable the way it is. But if there is a better way is it not worth the effort to change? I don't want to be this way forever. I want new things, excitement! Something different. I am not a robot who does the same thing over and over.
I just finished a three day workshop with other teachers in the same content area. We were presented with new teaching methods and grading methods. There was such an uproar over change. Why? We think our way now works, and I agree it is working. But what if there is a better way?
We are like this in everything. We get in such a routine that we don't want to get out. Actually, we are so comfortable in our life that we don't see a reason to change. But what if there is a better way? What if God has a better plan than ours? Yes it may seem hard. Yes it may seem scary. The "un-known". But why not at least try, and I mean really try. Give it a chance. Instead of arguing and complaining about change, let it happen. See where it goes. Who knows, we may just like it!!

Mission of the Month

So, I am going to try listing my goals for each month. I am hoping that by doing this I am keeping myself accountable and more likely to complete my goals. At the end of the month I will check off what has been accomplished. I got this idea from another blogger (her link is on the left) and I am hoping it works for me as well.
Here we go!
Goals for June:

Household:

• Begin to paint the kitchen
• Start meal planning system from Sparkpeople

Spiritual:

• Continue Proverbs 31 Bible study
• Continue Read the Bible in 90 day challenge: this month I will read Exodus-Ezra

Personal:

• Continue Couch to 5k program
• Continue Sparkpeople tracking system (Love it!!)
• Lose 5 pounds
• Blog three times a week
• Read one educational article a week (I'm a teacher)

OK, so lets see how this works this month!


Angie

Getting Fit

So my obsession right now is getting healthier and losing weight. In my proverbs 31 study today, the discussion was on doing good to your husband. One of the things was cooking healthy meals. I have never really thought of that as doing good to my husband. But it is , isn't it? If I am the one preparing the meals, am I not harming him by preparing fatting, unhealthy food? Sure he may like it and enjoy it, but is it really doing him good. Now I am not saying I will never prepare something that may not be all that healthy just because he likes it, but for the most part I want to feed him what will do him good! That makes my healthier change in me even more important. It's not just for me, it is also to do my husband good.

Memorial Day; I Am Blessed

Memorial : anything meant to help people remember a person or event. So I am thinking about all that I have been blessed with. Sometimes, we only look at our problems. Now don't think for a moment I am problem free. I have never felt so overwhelmed in my life with problems. But I am also overwhelmed with blessings! I have started a challenge to read the Bible in 90 days. I had to decided which translation I wanted to use. Did you catch that? I have accesses to so many translations that I had to pick one. How many people wish they had at least one? I have a pile of laundry to do. How many people wish they had clothes to wear? I have to decide what to cook? How many just want to eat? We have to pay to fix a broken truck for my husband's job? How many just want a job? I can go on and on. For every problem I have, God has blessed me with a promise. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my provider, my Comfort, my Shield. This memorial day, and everyday, I am going to CHOOSE to focus on the blessings, not the problems. My God is bigger than any situation I face!

I am Third

I am working on an inductive bible study of Phillipians. I am focusing on each word and trying to understand the meaning of each word, not just skim over it. So today the word JOY is sticking out at me. I remember the saying we use to hear all the time, Jesus, Others, and You. Do I put Me third? In a society that says do what YOU want it is not easy to put yourself third. We are taught that we can have it OUR way. That goes against what Christ taught. Christ did not have it HIS way. If he did, he would sure not have chosen to be nailed to a cross. He chose to put God first, others second, and Himself last. The Word tells me to be like Christ. I am third!

Last Day of School

Today was our last day for this school year. This is the hardest day for me, both mentally and physically. I am so ready for a break, yet I don't want the kids to go. It is so happy and sad at the same time. I cry every year. Just knowing that I am not taking care of these students anymore, someone else will, is hard. I will miss the teachers that I work with. We share so much together. We understand each other. I always feel so alone on this day. I am thankful to spend more time with my family, to rest and refresh. It feels like part of me is missing without my classroom!

God's Favor

Sometimes I get so busy in life and with my problems that I don't even notice the favor I have because of my God. Oh, I know it is there. But my focus concentrates so much on my problems that I forget to see the favor. There is someone out there who always has it worse than me. For one thing, I KNOW where I will spend eternity. Many out there don't. I KNOW I will eat today. Many out there don't. I KNOW I am loved unconditionally. Many out there don't. If I just stop and look at the favor that I have in my life, my problems become as nothing. God has taken me through so many things, why would He stop now. I am worthy of His favor, NO. But He has made me worthy. He says that I am worthy, and what He says is true!!

Those Unable to Speak

"Open your mouth on behalf of those unable to speak, for the legal rights of the dying" psalm 31:8. I have read this passage before, just not slowly and deliberately. So many things came at me. Abortion, what about the babies who never had a voice? Children, what about the ones who are never taken to church, never given the chance to hear the gospel? The elderly, what about the ones who can't remember and are just put in a home until the end? What about the girl who is pregnant and unmarried and scared and alone? What about the drug addict who desperately wants to quit but does not know how, or is given the chance. I am to be the voice for those. I am suppose to tell people to "listen" to them. Really hear what they are saying. Stop judging and help!

Attack!

I have been a Christian long enough to know that as soon as I start being more motivated and hungry for God the attack is not far behind. Why am I always caught off guard? The word says to DAILY put on the WHOLE armour of God. This is exactly why we should. So we don't get caught off guard. It seems like one problem after another sometimes, with very littly room to come up for air. But with the armour of God, I can be protected. Will the trials still come? YES! Will my flesh still want to quit? YES, probably. Can I conquour and overcome? YES, YES, YES! And I don't have to do anything, He has already done the work for me.

Joining the Link up Party

Ok, so I am new to this "Link Up Party Wednesday" so lets see if I can do this right! I love the quote in the blog from the 2nd link below. Hope you can see it.

www.goodmorninggirls.com

www.womenlivingwell.org

Proverbs 31 Woman for my Son

Today was the first day of the online study of the Proverbs 31 woman. The focus was on the first two verses. Verse 1 tells us that this is an oracle given to the king by his mother. The message calls it "strong advice". The king James calls it a prophecy. So that means that this whole chapter is not only something that I need to learn to be, but I need to teach my son how to find it. Not just live it, teach him. If I don't teach him, the world will. I would much rather. have a daughter-in-law who is a proverbs 31 woman than a worldly one.

Mothers Day

So now my children are grown for the most part. My son is 14 and still at home, but not as needy as a young child. I wonder how Mary felt as Jesus grew and did not need her as much. It is great to look at what wonderful people my children have become. All the hard work paid off. Now I get to watch my daughter raise her daughter. I get to reflect on their childhood. Did Mary reflect on Jesus's childhood? Did she have regrets, things she wished she would have done? Or was she just grateful and proud of how he grew. I know that He is the Son of God, so she had help in His raising. But then, so do I. god has helped me raise my children as well. Yes I have made mistakes, didn't Mary as well? I am very proud of my children, even with the mistakes I made!

Let's Get Started

First, I want to explain my title. Natalie Grant has a song out called "Alive". It is based on the story of Mary Magedelene, one person that I can relate too. In the song there is a line that says, "Who would write my story to the end, with Mercy's pen?". That is me! My life has been written with the pen filled with mercy. My story is continuing by mercy and grace. Without the love of Christ I would not be here? Why me? How could He love such a sinner? How He must anguish over my bad choices, my continual sin. But no, He loves me with a love that is God. So overwhelming. If He can love me through all I have done, He can love You. In fact He does love you. No matter what you have done or not done!