God-fidence

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. ~ Hebrews 11:1 NLT

Faith, why is it so hard yet so easy. To believe that what I hope for will actually happen, without seeing how! For me that is not an easy feat. I like to be in control. I want to see the future. I HATE to wait (yes, I said the "H" word). To hope that my provision will come when I may not have been the best steward with what I was already given. To hope that my children will be save when I can't be with them. To hope that God really does have a "Greater" plan for me when I can't see how or even why He would use me. Those things that I can't see drive me crazy. Yet, they also drive me closer to God. I have come to realize (though I don't always act like it) that the closer I get to God, the easier the faith comes. The more I learn about Him, the more I realize I can have faith. The more I talk to Him, the more I learn who He thinks, no wait, He KNOWS who I am. The more I am in His presence, the easier it is to have the assurance about things I cannot see. In fact, the more I am in His presence, the more I DO see.
Confidence has never come easy for me. In the fact the more confident I would become, the more arrogant I felt. You know, that little voice that tells you how high and mighty you think you are. Then I would not just humble myself, I would beat myself up. But with faith I am given a confidence. A confidence that I can know who I am and Who I serve. That I am provided for. That I am loved. That I am forgiven! Even if I cannot see it!